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Quad City Herald
Brewster, Washington
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September 23, 1932     Quad City Herald
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September 23, 1932
 

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BREWSTER Friday, September 23, 1932 i i i OUR CC MIC SECTIO00b' (CopyrlgM, W. N. U.) A Washout THE FEATHERHEADS Blame the Dday on the Male MAIl..! HERALD Curret00 wit00 and00 Hu A good old Quaker was mllldng a cow whose lively dlsposltlon had often ,$eSrtA tannTehe thg co  Ina=l,tdot indignation snatched up a nearby club to strike the exasperating animal when he remembered the precepts of his religion. He dropped the stick, and in a voice trembling with anger said: "I may not beat thee, neither may I kick thee, but--I will twist thy durn tall."-- Prairie Farmer. WISE WOMAN "Wby did you pick out such a pret- ty cool{ ?" "My husband is away a great deal, and I wanted to have police protec- tion." Juat Like a Woman "John," said the missus, who had dragged him along on her quest for a new hat, "hold thls one. It's the first I've tried on and I'm going to take It." "We]l, then, for the love of Mike, pay for It and let's go I" he growled. "Not on your life," she retorted, "I'm going to try on all the others before I'll admit this one suits toe"- Sam Hill, Cincinnati Enquirer. Creating an Appearance "Do you feel capable of leading the public?" "Certainly," answered Senator Sor- ghum. "Tbe art of leadership, as I now see it, is to learn which way the public is determined to go and then keep a few Jumps ahead of the stam- pede."--Washtngton Star. Broker's Otce Types He had bought for the rise, and taken on some new lines after the first upward swing. He paced the floor happily but obviously Jumpy. "What's the matter with Whoozlss?" asked a patron. "Nervous optimist," said the Junior partner. FOOLISH QUESTION Comedian--Say boss, when do 1 get ale salary? Manager--How do l know. i'm a manager, not a prophet. Comparing Notes "You laugh at the way your grand. mother used to dress." "Yes." answered Miss Cayenne. "Grandma has all the worst of It. She doesn't laugh at the way I dress. She shudders." Her Alter Ego Actress '(to sour-looking dinner part. ner)--Dld you see my article in the Dally Splash? Partner--Yes. 1 wrote lt.--London ltumorist. Anyway, He Ran Larkes--So your wife shot at the burglar? Sl)arkes--Yes, and she hit the alarm clock, and it rang so loud that the fellow got scared and Jumped out the window. First Actor--In the romantic scene in the first act I don't know whether to close my eyes or not. Manager--Just watch the audience and if they ch)se theirs it doesn't make any difference. Surprised at RatinI Butterscotch--You say that Gayblrd loves his wife more since she has sued another woman for alienation of affections ? MIIktoast--Yes, he never suspected before that hts wife considered his affections worth $10(I,000. Modern Education Kitchen T,dler--If 1 had gone around more when I was single I'd never have ,narrled you. Bread Winner--Well, I never went ',, college, either. TALES ., O F T H E Editha CHIEFS L L Watson POCAHONTAS__AND MILLY IIer real name was Mataoka, and she was the daughter of Wahunsona- cock, chief of the l'owhatan confeder- acy. She was a frol- icsome child, and her playfulness earned her a nickname from the father: Pokahan- tea (she is playful). The adventures of Capt. John Smith-- his perils among the hostile Indians, his capture, the sentence Pocahontaa to death, and his res- cue by the maiden. scarcely In her teens, are told in song and story. :But that is only the be- ghming of the narrative of Pocahon- tas. John Smith returned to Englaml In 1609. The promises of the English wcre not fulfilled, and the Indian: were kept unhappily busy by the exac- tions of the white people. There was intrigue among the In- dians also. Lured by the false stories of a treacherous chief, Pocahontas went aboard the shlp of Captain Ar- gall, In the Potomac river. She was held on hoard while the boat sailed away frmn land, and for some time sl|e was kept a prisoner and ransom was asked for her. "l'owhatan," as her father was known, had become openly hostile when his favorite daughter was thus kidmtped. He agreed to a kind of peace, however, to effect her return, but was ready for trouble--a dangerous neighbor for the whltes. But Pocahontas had not spent all her thne In English hands bewailing her fate. One of the Engllsl||nen had found favor in her eyes, and she saw tbat her affection was returned. She qccepted Chrlstlanlty, partly, perhaps, Iecause of this personable gentleman, and was baptized as the "Lady Rebec- ca." IIer savagery thus transmuted, John Rolfe no longer delayed, and in April, 1613, the two were married. Thts alliance pleased Powhatan. The old chief (he was sixty when he first met the white men) had great ambi- tions for his beloved daughter. Tbree years after the wedding, the Rolfes and several of the Powlmtan Indians set sail for England. Poca- hontas' story had preceded her, and since her father was a powerful ruler, the daughter was everywhere ac- clahned as a princess. Her visit was a trlumph; her portrait was painted; people crowded around her in admlra- tlon, and her romantic story was on every tongue. Happy over her reception, yet eager to return to her own people, Poealon- ins prepared for the trip back to America. She was aboard the ship, lying at Gravesend, when m unfor- seen calamity occurred. Snmllpox, an enemy which rarely spared Indian vic- thns, attacked her. Everything pos- sible was done In the hope of savlng the young "lwlncess," but nothing availed. She was only twenty-two when she succumbed to the scourge, leaving her husband and their son to mourn her. , , * * a , s While Pocahontas Is perhaps the most ronmntlcally famous Indlun girl in history, there have been other res- ('nes hy other Indian maidens. Thai of McKrimmon by the Seminole Milly is also well-known, and has a hapi)Ier ending. In December of 1817, McKrimmon, an American, was captured by the In- dians and taken to Mikasukl, I:Bllis Hadjo's town. Tiffs famous chief had been on the British side in the War of 181.2, and was still a foe to the Americans. He ordained that the cap- tive be burned to death like any other enemy. The American, his head shaved, was hound to a stake, and wood was plied around hhn, ready for the "burnt-offer- ing." Then began a hideous dance. The Semlnoles circled round and round their captive, uttering cries of con. tempt, and of Joy at his capture. We are not told how the American stood' the ordeal. However, our na- tional pride In our countrymen, as well as Mllly's Intercession, speak well for him, for If lie had begged for mercy. no doubt the Seminole maiden would have steeled her heart against him. Just as the fatal spark approached the wood, the young and lovely daugh. ter of Hlllls HadJo rushed to her fa- ther. At his fee;, she begged for the llfe of the captive, but the chief was stern and denied her request. Fhmlly she treatened to die with him unless lie were liberated. Not until he was convinced that his daughter meant what she said, did the chief order the eaptlve unbound. Although McKrim- men's life was safe, he was not free, however. The Seminoles held him as a prisoner until he was bougbt by some Spaniards for seven and a half gallons of ruin, and these *'owners" released hhn. Shortly after these event., the ehlef was (:aptured by Americans anti banged. HIS wife and daughters, among whom was Mllly, surren- dered. The Americans paid marked attention to the brave and beautiful young Indian girl, and McKrimmon of- fered to marry her. After a long ,.nurtshlp, In which MeKrhnmon finally ?e|'snaded her thai he had not made the offer from gratitude, but from !.ve, the. were ntarrled, and so, as the fairy-tales say, they lived bal)pily ever after. (@, 1932, Wemorn Newspape Uiilon.i Mercolized Wax Keeps. Skin Young " Fans the Frost Away Fred Rusteburg has 100 acres of beans on his farm near San Benlto, Texas. The earliest beans marketed naturally bring premium prices, and as the tender young plants fall an easy prey to late frosts, there is the constant danger of Imvlng there nlpped. To ward off these late frosts, Rusteburg has mounted three alrphme 9repellers with their motors, taken from Worhl war alr b.n|bers, Whenever the temperature sinks to the danger l)olnt, Rusteburg starts hls motors and the currents of alr set In mothm keep the frost from forming, Just as happens on a windy night, even if temperatures are quite low. a She Shouldn,t be Tire(! + No cncrgy.., circlcs under her eyes: I/she would only try Lydia E. Pinkham'$  Vegetable Compound in tablet-form she could be strong and happy again. Ill I t Into Bundlel A young Kansas Jackrabbit will have a real story to tell his grand- children about "the good old days. ' When P. D. Hlleman and C. W. Ash/ of Wellington were cutting wheat a few days ago the youngster Jumped on the canvas of tile binder. He was carried up the elevator and bound in- to a bundle of wheat. Mr. Ash. stopped the horses and examined the bundle; he found the rabbit securelY" fastened; In the wheat. Apparently: unhurt, the animal scampered awa when released.--Kansas Farmer. Brevity A statesnmn should understanci the arts of oratory." "He shouhl," answered Senator Sorghum. "But sometimes he'a got; to depend on plain monosyllablest when its hts turn to say 'yes' or- in0 ., ,, Consientloua Censors He (as Iris wife ts pacldng)--l: don't think you ought to wear that; bathing suit, Helen. She--Put, dear, I have to--yot know how strict they are at the beaches.--Boston Transcript. Sex and Study 1Volnen, accordh|g to German unl- verslty stntisliclans, are good stu- dents of economics, industrial hls- tory, and chemistry, but they are beaten by nien tit mathematics. a IF YOU SUFFER FROM PILES sooner or later youwill try every. thing in an effort to stop that tor- ment. Perhaps you'll find the one remedythat actually works. Why delay? Try ROCOL today and ban- ish Piles. ROCOL is a NATURAL remedy.., not a patent medicine. It was prepared by Mother Nature through the ages. Quick, healing, soothing, safe. No dangerous drugs, no burning, no smarting. Improve- ment from thevery first application. Satis- faction guaranteed or your money back. Send this sd sad gt.OO for a trial treat- ment today. MDICOLUM CORPOR- ATI ON. Ltd., xdu side Distributors, t t 2 Venice Boulevard, Los Angeles. I l i ADVERTISING 4. Have you any- " thing around the house you would like to trade or sell? Try a classified ad. The cost is only a few cents and there are probably a lot of folks looking for just whatever it is you no longer have use for. CLASSIFIED ADS GET W. N. U., Portland, No. 39-,1932,